| REHEARSAL GUIDE
A GUIDE TO PLANNING AND CONDUCTING A REHEARSAL |
| If you are marrying at a commercial establishment there is a good possibility that the manager or coordinator there will guide you through a rehearsal and give you different options for staging the ceremony. You should ask when booking a facility so you will know in advance what you need to do to make every thing go smooth. If you have hired a planner/consultant, they will be one to help stage the wedding and being at the rehearsal should be part of the package. If neither of the above are available and you feel unable to coordinate on your own, check with Rev. Dan to see if he is available. In most cases the officiant does not attend a rehearsal unless the staging is very complicated or they are a personal friend of the betrothed. Most brides find they have seen enough weddings to know how they want it to appear. As an alternative, here is a guide to planning your rehearsal. It covers most of the usual situations and options to guide you through the rehearsal as clearly and easily as possible. It is recommended that the Bride and all attendants be at the location an hour before the wedding to avoid any last minute problems. The Groom should arrive 15 minutes later to avoid seeing his Bride and keep his groomsmen company. There are two ways attendants appear in procession. Traditionally, the Best Man and Maid or Matron of Honor make up the first pair. Then follow a pair of siblings or best friends, then 2nd best friends, 3rd best friends, etc. The modern way is to keep the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor paired, then pair the remaining attendants in order of height for more pleasing stage to guests and the photographer. Either is acceptable. It is customary for the Bride and Bridesmaids to be hidden from view until the procession begins. The Groom may greet guests at the entrance however should go to a private place with his attendants and the officiant at least 10 minutes before the wedding to make sure all is in order. If grandparents on both sides will attend the wedding, give them the choice on if they would like to be escorted in just before the ceremony or if they would prefer to be treated like other guests. It is improper for grandparents on just one side to receive special treatment. The order of the procession is as follows: The Groom and Officiant take their places at the front and wait for the Bride [see options below]. (1)Groom’s grandmother escorted with grandfather following in step immediately behind; (2) Bride’s grandmother in same manner; (3)Groom’s mother escorted in with his father following immediately behind; (4)Bride’s mother escorted in with father following unless he will stay behind to escort the Bride; [Note: If there will be a Unity or Sand ceremony the Mothers are escorted to the front to light the small candles or carry and place the cups of sand on the ceremonial table and then be seated.] (5)Attendants process in either beginning with lowest of importance or the shortest depending on this line-up is chosen, ending with the Maid/Matron of Honor. (6)If there is a flower girl or ring bearer, they should walk together at this point just before the Bride. (7)When every one is in position, the Bride, either alone or with her Father or other escort, makes her entrance usually with different music just for that purpose. An option is for the Best Man to enter with the Groom and Officiant and when the Maid/Matron of Honor gets half way up the aisle, he goes to meet her and escorts her the rest of the way. This give them both added respect and distinguishes them from other attendants. A second option is for all Groomsmen to line up in front and all Bridesmaids walk alone. There is really no preference and all is a matter of choice. In some cases Bridesmaids are shy and would rather not walk alone. The Bride might want to present this option to them and let them make the decision. When together at the front, all attendants should stand facing at an angle between the Bride and Groom and guests. If there is a flower girl and/or ring-bearer that is very young, it is recommended they take a seat in the front row after every one else is in position to avoid fidgeting or other interruption during the ceremony. The giving of the Bride’s hand in marriage is done for most weddings, either by the Bride’s father, brother or uncle. This may be done casually or formally. When done casually, the Bride is escorted to the front, her escort kisses her and may tell her something privately, then he turns and shakes hands with the Groom and the Bride is ‘given away’ in that manner. When done formally, the Officiant steps forward and asks ‘Who brings this women to be married to this man’. After a reply the Officiant moves aside and motions the Groom to step forward and claim his Bride, and the Groom brings his Bride the few steps remaining to be in position for the ceremony. Then the ceremony begins as planned. If there are any readings, they are done before the vows. When the Officiant announces the reading(s), the reader should come to the front facing the guests but off to the side a little not to block the Bride and Groom. After the reading the reader returns to his or her seat. If flowers are being presented to mothers it should be done immediately before the vows are said. This is symbolic of a final ‘good-bye’ to her family before committing to marriage and the beginning of a new family. Just before saying the vows (or presenting flowers to mothers), the Bride hands her bouquet to her Maid of Honor to hold. The vows are said with the betrothed holding hands and looking into each others’ eyes. Then the Officiant will ask for the ring(s). Whomever has the ring(s) shall present them to the Officiant for blessing, otherwise hand them directly to the Bride and Groom. If there is a ring bearer, it is the same, except some times the bearer presents a pillow holding the rings to the Best Man for him to untie and hand to the couple. If the marriage documents are signed during the wedding it is done either after the vows or ring exchange, depending on which ceremony and the plan that was agreed upon, and any additional ceremony is also held at that time. After that the Bride reclaims her bouquet and the wedding continues to it’s conclusion. All attendants then follow the newlyweds out in reverse order in which they entered. If the marriage documents are signed after the ceremony, all should proceed to where the documents are to take care of that bit of final business. Best Wishes! |
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